|Oh the Panic of it all
||[Nov. 20th, 2007|01:40 am]
Oh no. I quit my job. I woke the the other morning I was like "I hate being there and it makes me sad. NO MORE". So I called my boss and left a message saying I quit ._. At first I was liberated and happy that I no longer have to deal with angry people. I'm far too sensitive for a place like that, I mean, an old man almost made me cry over the phone. It's hard for me to not let crusty old bastards like him get to me. I was excited to have the option of staying up late watching my stories and sleeping in till past noon. I miss having that.
Unfortunately, once the liberation wears off the panic sets in. I suck at saving money. I need money to go to school next year. It feels so much more crucial 'cause now I know what I want to do. I'm scared I won't get enough saved up and I'll have to ask my parents for money, that's the last thing I want do. If life were simple I'd take out a student loan but my parents make too much so I'd get rejected. Job = Money. Money = Education. Worst comes to worst I'll have to take advantage of my Metis status and go to a school for free. My point of view on that is a whole other story though. >>
Another problem is I don't want my parents to know I quit without finding a new job before I resigned. I know my dad will get all, "That's life. People have to go to jobs they don't like. Get use to it." It makes me sad.
After a shitty day at that hell hole I was irritable and bitter. I don't have to be stuck in a job that destroys my soul. It's strictly my choice whether I do or don't. This time around I'm going to be more determined to find one I like and deem fulfilling. It's not like I have bills to pay, right? I just need to work on tightening my budget. Then I will have enough to go to school next year, get my certificate in child care and get a job I love.
If I keep telling myself that then maybe I'll pull through ;-;
Your parents aren't going to help you pay for university? Have you asked them? That's an awful lot of money, and I'm pretty sure it's the standard that your parents have to help you out.
Being Metis isn't going to get you jack-shit. Not even a gas discount. D; My dad is Metis and he had to pay for all of his schooling on his own. It only works that way if you're a Treaty 4 First Nation here in Saskatchewan, and even so, you have to go through a really evil screening process and they decide if you're even worth the funding.
Anyways, before I knew I was being shipped off for 9 months, I had a lot of panic episodes, too. (Now I can put it off or anther year!) But really, come on, you're 18. It's too early to be all worried about the rest of your life. If all goes well you still have another good 5 or 6 decades to live.
There's no need to have that "maybe I'll pull through" attitude. And who says you -have- to go to school next year? My sister waited 3 years until after she was out of high school for no reason at all, just that she 'wasn't ready'. (and she still doesn't know what she wants to do, but she's just going because my mom is making her.) And my dad didn't go to university until he was 29.
I'm a pretty strong believer that everything will work out in the end. Concentrate on you being happy and stable before you concentrate on the rest of your 9-5 life, man.
I think it's totally untrue that people have to put up with being miserable so they can have money. And I'm a goddamned cynic.
Yeah, it's pretty much the principle of me having to ask them for the money. I just feel guilty because if I was more money smart I'd definately have enough for school. Plus my parents wanna retire in a couple of years so I don't want to suck away any of thier retirement money.
I dunno, my mom told me there was a college where Metis/First Nations could go to become a teacher for free. Maybe she got it wrong. Oo;
The "Pull through" attitude was just me being a douche. :3 I know I'll be fine, I just really don't want to have another job that I don't like. I figure when I get my child care certificate (it's a one year program) I'll have a greater chance of getting a good job.